I've made a few minor revisions based on the suggestions of the Minions and the awesome Courtney Young. Thanks for all the help!
Dear Agent,
A
strange, mournful wail trumpets from the nearby forest, disturbing
eleven-year-old Andy Salazar’s imaginings of baseball games and monster movie
marathons. Accompanied by Rich, his
wisecracking best friend, Andy ventures to the dried riverbed on the first day
of summer to investigate. Together, they
unearth fragments of the town of Hamlin’s guarded history in the form of old,
forgotten relics.
Guided
by the dapper dwarf known as King Henry, Andy and his friends endeavor to
connect their discoveries to the town’s past.
Henry says a storm is coming, and the town elders look to the rumpled
clouds with growing unease. A mysterious
murder, Hamlin’s first in decades, portends a series of baffling crimes. Rumors swirl of a tattooed man and dog-faced
boy stalking the streets.
Hamlin is haunted by its secrets and time is
running out. Andy must learn why the year 1934
is missing from the town’s history books, and how the buried artifacts
connect to the bloodshed, the flood, and the elephant calls in the night. With the help of his friends, Andy forces
Hamlin to face its past and confront its restless dead.
The
Last March of Elephants is a New Adult novel with coming of age and
paranormal elements in the tradition of Stephen King’s It and Robert
McCammon’s Boy’s Life. It clocks in at 90,000 words.
Although the protagonist and his friends are around eleven years old, the
novel deals very much with adult themes. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Awesome Job!!!!!!! You've come such a long way in a week. I honestly don't have any more suggestions....I am going to send some ofher super villains over to see if I missed anything :) yay!
ReplyDeleteThank you and thanks for your words of wisdom!
DeleteUh, hello awesome query!
ReplyDeleteGreat improvements. Really:)
Talynn
Thanks! Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. This query writing has been a blast!
DeleteI came late. Great story. If you want to keep hammering in it, you could look at the style suggest, put the most important things in the most important places. Make your first and last sentences of each paragraph have more emphasis. Same for sentences. Arrange them so the key idea comes a the end. It's picky, but every little thing helps.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the input! I will take another look and pay attention to the sentences and arrangement.
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ReplyDelete